Purpose

As an addendum to Acceptance, live with purpose. What we do when we accept the universe as it is, and stop trying to change it to try to get an arbitrary goal, is that we live with purpose.

When I said “acceptance is dying on a battle field” what I meant was that knight was living his purpose up to the moment of his death. And I don’t quite mean this literally. I learned this lesson through a past life regression. So imagine a knight in the middle ages, who devoted his whole life to defending and serving his king. That was his purpose. He was not attached to the glory he would receive after battle, the riches or luxuries one might find at court. He was solely focused on living out his purpose, which happened to be fighting in battle, regardless of the outcome. And in this outcome he surrendered and was executed. But because he lived in this surrender, acceptance of the universe, freedom from attachment, he was fully satisfied with no regrets in the end.

Now we do not usually have such clear cut purposes as a knight, who truly gave his life for his purpose. But we each can strive to identify what our purpose is and who we are. I often go back to the example of my life because it is also pretty clear. My purpose is to be a guide to others. I counsel, teach, and guide people in their lives. I have done this my whole life from friendships, to strangers I met working customer facing roles. People have always come to me with their problems and talked to me about their lives. And I was able to be a sounding board and help direct their energy. So for me to live my purpose, I have to focus my energy on guiding and counseling others. Not being rich, not growing my business, not gaining fame and notoriety. My purpose is to be invested in my work and apply my energy towards that directive everyday. And when I am invested in my purpose and working towards serving others, I will be content. That is where my freedom lies. That is how I can surrender to the universe and accept my fate. By living my purpose.

And when we live our purpose, things should align more easily. The universe will provide more readily. Again, I may not have fame and fortune, but that doesn’t equal happiness. I do know that when I am devoted to my purpose all of my true needs for this life will be met and the universe will conspire with me. We cannot imagine the life the universe has prepared for us, that is not our job. Our job is to find and live out our purpose, and allow the universe to amaze and delight us. Let go of the reigns, let go of control. Live moment to moment, making each decision in alignment with your purpose, and the road will be set for you.

That is all that we have. Our in the moment decisions. The universe will make you an offering, and you get to accept or deny. You do not have control of the outcome or what is next. You cannot make a decision today to guarantee riches in five years. That control is not yours. But you can choose moment to moment what resonates with your purpose and step towards that. Choose that path and walk along it as the universe guides you.

Witness-Katy Perry

In honor of the New Moon in Scorpio during Scorpio season I want to pay homage to a triple Scorpio queen. Katy Perry has her Sun, Moon, Rising, Mercury, Saturn and Pluto all in Scorpio. Let’s just say she’s an incredibly dynamic Scorpionic soul. As I study Astrology and deepen my knowledge I like to listen to specific artists during their solar return season. Since it is Scorpio season I’ve been visiting Katy Perry, Lorde and SZA just to name a few female artists with their sun in Scorpio.

While listening to Katy’s album “Witness” I was inspired by this title track. I feel like the song embodies what a client may be looking for when they enter into counseling. Let me break down some lyrics for you to make my point.

If I lost it all today, would you stay?
Could my love be enough to stimulate?
If shit hit the fan, grenades got thrown
Would you still show, oh?
Could you go down with me to the mat?
Could we get back up and eventually laugh?
Roll eyes at highs, cheers in the lows, and stay in the flow, oh

This is the first verse of the song and I feel like it represents how a client may feel in intimate relationships that causes them to enter therapy, as well as what they may be looking for from a counseling relationship. If “shit hit the fan” in your relationship and your partner just dipped you may be at a loss, heartbroken and looking for support.

This is also a challenging dynamic in building a trusting therapeutic relationship. Sometimes clients will wonder and worry if their therapist will still be there, if they can be a reliable and dependent relationship that will “show up” even after self-disclosure. You may wonder “if I reveal myself, will if be too much? If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me. My therapist will judge me if I’m completely honest.” Trust me, we are there through thick and thin. This is our job, to support you and accept you exactly as you are and where you are in this phase of life. Therapists sometimes feel this way too. If a client has revealed something deep they are less likely to return the next session. We are also wondering if you can go down to the depths with us and still come back next week “and eventually laugh.”

We're all just looking for connection
Yeah, we all want to be seen
I'm looking for someone who speaks my language
Someone to ride this ride with me
Can I get a witness? (Witness)
Will you be my witness? (Witness)
I'm just looking for a witness in all of this
Looking for a witness to get me through this

This chorus is so poignant. I don’t think I need to break this down at all, just read it. Who is not feeling this way today? Who isn’t looking for connection and to be seen for who you truly are? We are all trying to connect again and have someone to be there with us through the ups and downs. A therapist is so perfectly a witness to your life. We see you, we’ll help you through this, and we’re along for the ride. If you find the right match hopefully you will find “someone who speaks my language,” and it will feel like a natural fit.

A therapist is not a friend, we are a witness. We see the events of your life and we provide evidence, sound proof of your humanity. An unbiased objector to put you on course when the negative self-talk is too big and you’ve run away with some crazy story of how you don’t deserve to be loved. We’ll give you the grounded evidence to counter your fears and negativity. We’ll give you those “cheers in the lows” no doubt, even when no once else can and you can’t see a shred of light in the tunnel.

Well there you have my breakdown of Katy Perry. Go ahead and give it a listen. Find a few more Scorpio artists and observe them during this next month. What do you relate to, being that you’re experiencing these energies at this time as well? Where does their natural Scorpio appear?