The End of an Era

Do you feel the world is ending? Okay it’s not ending, but the decade is. Everyone is making a big deal about the end of a decade as we approach 2020. I don’t know about you, but milestones make me depressed. Another momentous occasion to look back and wonder what have I done with my life, did I do enough, did I make it worth it? And then I see the future looming, oh geez we’re closing out a decade how to I honor it with enough celebration and do it exactly right to get the most out of it? I wonder what everyone else is doing, am I doing it right, what if I don’t do absolutely everything and then I miss this giant opportunity and I won’t have another chance for ten years?

Or is that just me?

I feel like time is moving way too fast. Too fast to sit and plan and do everything right. I keep telling my friends all I want to do is hide under the covers until it’s 2020. I don’t have the time, energy or desire to do much of anything. I casually took a month off blogging, and you know what, I needed that. We all deserve to take breaks and give ourselves rest when the time calls. Release the pressure, just let it go. I did just see Frozen 2, which I will say was not as catchy as the “Let it go” era of Frozen one, but had some very cool nods to traditional elements and nature spirits. But back to the task at hand, although my Frozen escapade is kind of related. Sometimes I take myself to movies on weekdays. Before work, before I do much of anything with my day. I like to mix it up. I need joy in my life. And when I am in need of joy I give it to myself.

I guess this is one of the problems I see. We are all so hesitant to give ourselves a break or give ourselves what we want to feel joyful out of fear of doing the right thing or being “enough.” I just don’t have the energy to care anymore. I only have one life. I only have these hours to feel and relax and enjoy. I’m not going to lay on my death bed and think wow if only I had planned more and worked harder. No I am going to remember the times I played hooky and stayed out late with my friends.

When I look back on the past decade I do see a lot of hard work and dedication. In the last decade I became a legally recognized adult, went to school for two degrees, got my first full time job, became licensed in my field, and lastly started my own private practice. That’s actually a lot. From turning 18 in my parents house to moving states alone to an all new city on a whim and working for myself. I think I might actually be proud when I look at it that way.

So maybe I would recommend looking back at all that you have done, and all you have accomplished over these ten years. Because I am sure it is more than you realize and definitely more than you ever stop to give yourself credit for. And worry less about doing everything “right” or meeting other people’s expectations of you. I always feel so much pressure when people ask if I have “big plans” or “what did you do this weekend?” I lived, how about you? And living for me can be staying in with Harry Potter every night and snuggling my cat. Because that brings me joy and leaves me content. It doesn’t have to be a big show, something flashy for Instagram so everyone else approves that my life is enough.

My life is enough because it is mine. Because I choose it and I follow my heart and my desires. And your life is enough too. Exactly as you are, doing what you’re meant to be doing in this moment. And if you’re not there yet, there’s always next year. Who cares if moving decades looks like a big deal on paper. I don’t remember anyone saying anything about the shift from 2009 to 2010, and my life was just fine. I’m going to take this shift in stride and hold out for the next decade to make a big hoopla about it.

Or maybe I’ll just hide under my covers then too.