Drop the Baggage

For this full moon in Aries I heard a lot about dumping your baggage. Letting go of the past, “you can’t take it with you,” into this new future. That hit me hard. I am the sentimental type. The emotional hoarder, hard to let go, will cling to people or things years past their expiration date in my present life. I am struggling with this right now! Learning to let the past be in the past and knowing I can’t have it with me and live fully with all the gifts of future possibilities. 

Today I’m making a rather odd post, and it might come off choppy and random. Part of my “baggage” is old website copy. As someone who is currently growing and developing, in a constant change state to identify what most represents me and shedding what doesn’t, I have updated my website a lot. As in at least three total overhauls and countless iterations of how things are formatted, located, and written. In that process I’ve cut out loads of words. Words that hold meaning to me. That represent who I am and express the work I want to be doing. So in support of this process, to release the old, while valuing it’s gifts, I am putting all the things left unsaid from my website here. All the messages I want my readers to know, and more information than they may have wanted through browsing my site. Here goes!

Do you ever wonder who am I? Where is the joy in my life? What is the point in life, what is my purpose? It is time to reconnect to yourself and start living. Today we are more active and busy than ever, yet we have no time to just be. We lose touch with ourselves, our emotions, our deepest, most natural needs. Through this separation from self we grow despondent, depressed, and isolated. There is hope, you can regain your happiness and learn how to take care of yourself. We can begin to open up, share our emotions, and learn how to cope with negative feelings. Everything you need already exists inside of you ready to be discovered.

A lot of sadness comes from a lack of feelings, rather than being unable to control our feelings. In order to gain control, we must first recognize and allow our emotions to have their place. In my work my primary audience is teenagers, adults at a transition point, and women. I am most experienced with depression and suicidal ideation or existential crisis. My passion as a counselor is helping my clients access their emotions so they can process, express, and move forward in life. Our feelings are our greatest ally, they are one of our superpowers! Feelings are meant to be felt, not avoided.

Therapy is a collaborative process and no one knows you better than yourself. I can offer my pearls of wisdom and analysis, but at the end of the day the answers to all your problems lie within. We all have the answers we need inside, sometimes we just need some support and help navigating those waters. Now is the time to turn things around. It’s never too late, or too early, to get your life on track. To find a deeper meaning and purpose in your life. Listen to your heart’s calling and find your true passion. Together we can unearth your truth, passion and freedom from the symptoms that are currently holding you back.

I believe in fate and destiny and the universe bringing us all together. If you’re reading this, then life has brought us together. Most likely you are struggling in some way or know that your life could be better. Maybe you’re searching for meaning, wanting to make a change or adapting to a big change you just made. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out and exhausted running the rat race we call life. Let me help you learn to slow down, love yourself and discover the dream life you’re so excited to start.

I was called into the mental health counseling field when I was young and my path has led me right here. I love astrology, coffee, and snuggling with my cat. The ocean is my happy place and I need regular check-ins with nature to reset. I’m an introverted homebody and I practice meditation daily. With unconditional positive regard and authentic presence we will discover what motivates you and brings you joy. 

Clients will be most successful with me when:

You are willing and ready to change

Excited to dive deep into the beliefs and feelings that are holding you back without fear

Want to analyze your thought patterns and release what is no longer serving you

Prepared to follow a clear path to accomplish your goals

Have a desire for healing in a supportive, helping atmosphere

Well there you have it! Here is my word baggage that I am going to leave behind, in this post, without regret. I won’t long or mourn for it, wondering if someday I can fit it back on my site. I won’t feel guilty I spent time and energy writing each word or wishing I could share it. I have shared it. I’ve put it out into the ethers and that is where it shall stay. Not weighing me down or getting between me and the next brilliant thing I’d like to write. Only forward now, time to welcome the new and step into the future. We’ve harvested, we’ve released, and now we’re ready for the deep work. Change is coming! Allow the remainder of this full moon energy to support you in leaving the past in the past and preparing for the future.

Reality Testing, weighing the evidence

This Friday was a new moon in Libra. Libra is the sign of the scales, known for creating balance, harmony, and justice. Libra is also ruled by the planet Venus and loves relationships. So how balanced are you in your relationships? I know I can tell when I am out of sync when suddenly I’m needy, clingy, creating a fight over everything my partner says and crying over it, when moments before I was fine. In those moments I have to have the wherewithal to check myself, “is this my partner’s problem, or my problem?” What is the real source of what’s going on here. 

This reminds me of the cognitive technique of reality testing. In reality testing we want to weigh the evidence for and against our conclusions or beliefs. For instance, when my partner is going out with their friends and says we won’t be able to talk on the phone, does this really mean he hates me and doesn’t care about me? Well, let’s weigh the evidence. Did he say he hates me? No. Did he say he doesn’t care about me? No. Well, how did I get my conclusion then? When I heard him say he has other plans I felt insignificant. Oh, those were MY feelings. I am feeling left out. What is the evidence that my conclusions were not correct? When he called he explicitly said he misses me and made efforts to plan the next time we would talk. This seems to demonstrate the opposite of the conclusions I drew when I focused on half of what he said, but didn’t hear the rest of it. 

So me, being emotional and out of balance cried, lashed out, and tried to go cold on him to make him feel how I was feeling. I wonder what I could have done differently if in the moment I could stop, and test the validity of my automatic responses. Perhaps I could have said, “I am feeling insignificant because I was really looking forward to connecting with you tonight and now you are going out with your friends instead.” Perhaps in this scenario he could have addressed my feelings and comforted me, giving me the connection I was longing for. In this scenario my own heart and feelings were out of balance, and that resulted in me being unable to hear and process what was being shared with me from a neutral place. 

Now that I have recognized this imbalance in myself, what can I do to address it? Besides continuing to reality test when my thoughts are going off the rails. It is time to take a deeper look inside to address those feelings that were coming up, where are they coming from? Could I be ignoring my needs and not expressing them? Perhaps I haven’t been feeling as close to my partner, but because I have not shared this and communicated with them we haven’t had the opportunity to address it. Maybe we aren’t spending enough time connecting and together we need to make a plan to prioritize each other in a way that meets both our needs, allowing time for ourselves, our social lives, as well as keeping the relationship alive and healthy. 

With this new moon take a look at your close relationships, be that romantic or platonic. Are they out of balance, are you? Where are you jumping to conclusions and could use some reality testing to bring you back down to earth? With the energy of a new moon we plant the seeds we want to be growing and developing in our lives. We can grow strong, healthy relationships, formed on equity and love. We can foster clear communication, honor our feelings, and express ourselves truthfully to those around us. When you identify an “issue” in your relationship, take the time to first weigh the evidence for and against your conclusions, but second check in and make sure this is a “we” problem and not a “me” problem. Own your stuff, work on your self-love, and develop in harmony. Until next time moonshine!